How blogging can feel like middle school

Growing up I was a bit of a nerd (okay I was totally a nerd), but that was okay with me. Other than buying a pair of Skidz in 7th grade, I didn’t feel a deep need to be part of the “in” crowd. But now, in the blog world, the cool crowd is awesome. They build schools, write deeply, share from their hearts, adopt again, develop projects for Ethiopia, run, paint, and parent with thoughtfulness and love. I am in awe of these women.

With less than a dozen readers, I’m still not part of the hip, happening crowd in the blog world. So when the chance comes up to meet a blogger in person, it feels a little like asking to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria. The incredible thing about the internet is that I follow moms from all over the U.S. So now when we head out on a vacation, I have a little side motive to our trip – meet blogging friends.

We’ve trekked to Oklahoma from Dallas to reunite with Cazadora and Oakley. I made Jose drive the 2 ½ hours to L.A., in SoCal traffic, during our San Dan Diego vacation so we could meet Julie and family. Last week, we got to meet Ms. SillyPants and Blueberry on our Midwestern roadtrip. It’s an interesting feeling to be in a house you’ve seen pictures of, be with people you’ve read about and have a whole backstory to your conversations already in place. No awkward chitchat of meeting someone the first time. You can just jump right in to the good stuff. Turo told me the worst thing about playing with his new friend was having to leave. And this Mama couldn't agree more.

This summer we’ll be in Denver. Anyone want to schedule some playdates?

Fun with friends

Turo

Coffee date

Games with Grandma

But Mama...

As soon as Turo’s language skills exploded, he started working on his negotiation skills. I tell him what we are about to do; he has a counter-proposal. In his comebacks, he tosses things like “No, I’m the boss,” “you are a mean girl,” “I have a great idea,” and the classic “but at Anna Maria’s house.” The attempt at deal making happens for things big and small – how many books we’re going to read, what we’re having for dinner, our agenda for the day, how long I’m going to cuddle with him at bedtime. Some days it drives me batty.

And I think the problem is that I’m not always consistent with my follow-through, so it just fosters more negotiation. Because he knows that sometimes I can be swayed, so thinks he should try to get his way. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like a big deal if he asks for one more book even though I’ve said we’re only going to read three. It’s one more book, right? It probably is nice to feel a little in control as a kid. Yet, when it’s time to eat lunch and he asks if we can play outside first and then he gets mad because I say no, I get irritated. I don’t want to always be saying no, no, no to all his ideas. But I also want him to realize that sometimes he just has to go with the program.

I think I just need to ask him for his ideas upfront on things I’m willing to alter. This would give him that sense of control that I think he wants from the negotiating. And then if I don’t solicit his thoughts, I just need to stick to my original plan (even if changing it wouldn’t be a problem) and not enter into the back and forth with him.

Why haven't I been doing this? How have I let things turn into a daily power struggle? As I type this out, it seems so logical. So simple.

Pantry Project: Crackers

Pre-Oven

Ready to eat

Ready to toss (I think the end pieces were just a little too thin)

Valentine's Decorating

My cousin introduced me to Pinterest, and so now I want to craft and bake and redecorate. Inspired by a few "pins," I did a little crafting to celebrate love.

Just in case you're wondering: I used scrapbook paper to make the heart garland. Made a "love" template on the computer and then used it to cut out the felt letters. Behind the "love" is a page (four times) from Tuesdays with Morrie that was read at our wedding. And I filled the candle holders with conversation hearts.